Frequently Asked Questions
Sunday, November 4th, 2007Q: I hear that you got married. Congratulations. Any news yet?
A: No. Come back in two or three or eight years.
Q: So, how’s married life?
A: Beyond words.
Q: Would you have some time to work on this project for me?
A: Of course. What year would you like it done by?
Q: Why did you shave your head?
A: Just to shave my head.
Q: Why isn’t the internet working?
A: That online game you keep playing finally crashed the internet and it’s all gone now because of you.
Fresh garbage
Wednesday, October 31st, 2007If you’re one of the 0.002 people who visit this blog regularly, you may have noticed that I haven’t written anything on here since I was married a month and a half ago. You’re welcome. I’ve had a lot of things occupying my time. Did I mention I was married? I’m hoping to launch my new website soon. When that happens I’ll be moving this blog directly to photricity.com. My site will have a lot more functionality then, and it will be a lot easier for me to update it. Not that anyone cares how easy I make my own job. But unfortunately for you, you’ll have a lot more of this garbage to read.
Posted by Josh Meyer | 11:57 pm | Comments (0)Joshua and Donita - September 15, 2007
Monday, September 24th, 2007 Posted by Josh Meyer | 12:10 pm | Comments (4)
Stop
Thursday, September 13th, 2007How many times can Donita say “stop” in 30 seconds?
Posted by Josh Meyer | 4:16 pm | Comments (0)The Name Game
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007Besides being a nobody, I’m actually also:
Running for Mayer
A famous actor
A racecar driver
An anime voice
A real estate broker
Although none of these are really me, I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone who has the name Josh Meyer looks like a geek.
Posted by Josh Meyer | 5:02 pm | Comments (1)Caffeinated blood
Monday, August 27th, 2007Some people can’t sleep when they’re sad. I have no problem when I’m sad, but I can’t sleep at all when I’m excited. It is now only 1,697,406 seconds until my wedding. I haven’t slept for at least 10 days, just from all the excitement. And I for sure won’t sleep the week after the wedding. In fact, I may never sleep again as long as I live. Being the luckiest guy in the world does have it’s disadvantages.
Posted by Josh Meyer | 12:29 am | Comments (1)Unprocrastination
Sunday, August 12th, 2007Today I was trying to figure out what the opposite of procrastination is, because if there is such a thing, my fiancé is definitely it. She always likes to get things done way ahead of time. But after hanging out with her for a while with that in mind, I finally discovered that the opposite of procrastination is impatience.
Posted by Josh Meyer | 11:43 pm | Comments (0)The Salvation Poem novelty language collection
Friday, August 3rd, 2007Since we’ve been translating The Salvation Poem into pretty much every language imaginable, I took it upon myself to make sure the geek crowd gets proper translations.
Klingon (tlhIngan Hol):
toDtaHghach bom
yeSuS SoH nguv vaD Sor
‘ej Qam yIn Qorgh qab Duj ngaDHa’
‘aD pung DaH letmoHmo’ Hoch repwIj yem
moj repwIj Qun, joH ‘ej jup
choH repwIj yln ‘ej chenmoH Qup
‘ej QaH jIH, joH, yIn vaD SoH
Pig Latin (Igpay Atinlay):
Ethay Alvationsay Oempay
Esusjay, Ouyay iedday uponay aay osscray
Anday oseray againay otay avesay ethay ostlay
Orgivefay emay ownay ofay allay ymay insay
Omecay ebay ymay Aviorsay, Ordlay, andway Iendfray
Angechay ymay ifelay anday akemay itay ewnay
Anday elphay emay, Ordlay, otay ivelay orfay Ouyay
Leet Speak (1337 5P33K):
73H 5ALvA7I0n P03m
_|35u2, j00 |)i3d Up0n 4 (R055
4nd R053 A9aIN +0 5av3 73h l057
pH0R9iv3 M3h N0w 0|= 4|| m`/ $iN
c0M3 b3 m`/ 54\/10R, |_0rD, @nD p|-|Ri3nD
Ch4N93 m`/ |iF3 4nD M@K3 i7 n3W
4n|) H3lp m3h, |_0rD, 70 l1v3 PH0re y0o
Text Message (txt msg):
th slvshn poem
gsus u died upn a cros
n roz again 2 sav th lost
4gve me now of al my sin
com b my savur lrd n frnd
chnge my lyf n mak it nu
n hlp me lrd 2 liv 4 u
Internet slang:
TEH SAVLASHUN POEM!!!!11
OMG JeSuS You died upon a xross
Adn rose again too save teh noobs *satan pwned FTW*
:realizes his guilt: phorgive meh now of all my sinz…Sry :-D
Come be my SaVyOuR(sp?), L0rd, & add me on Myspace!!!
CHANGEMYLIFE adn make it newified w00t…lol
BTW…plz hlp me, Lord, too live 4 u … KTHX TTYL
Sign here please
Thursday, June 7th, 2007Need some moe fencing?
Which way to the full parking lot?
Am I the only one who’s afraid to park here?
A lovely conversation
Monday, May 14th, 2007Context: I had just gotten home from a 35 mile bike ride…in the rain and hail…with a flat tire. I call my fiancé.
Donita: Are you coming over?
Me: Would you like me to?
Donita: That’s a dumb question.
Me: Should I take a shower first?
Donita: Do you smell really bad?
Me: That’s a dumb question.
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