Our First Married Christmas
Wednesday, December 26th, 2007A video of our adventure picking out a Christmas tree, and a time lapse of our tree decorating.
Posted by Josh Meyer | 4:25 pm | Comments (1)Oh bother
Wednesday, December 12th, 2007- My website ranks higher in a google search for “josh mayer” or “josh meir” than it does for the correct spelling of my name, “josh meyer”
- I’ve been working hard to get people to visit this website which doesn’t sell anything and ultimately has no purpose
- Exactly 55.79% of the visitors to this website are from France and probably can’t read it anyway
- The most searched for phrase on this site is “search this site” which is the default text in the search box
- My wife laughs harder when she reads my blog posts that weren’t meant to be funny
- This blog has been nominated for worst blog of all time.
- Approximately 0.000003% of all internet users visit my website, according to alexa.com.
Worst blog
Friday, December 7th, 2007Sweet, this blog has been nominated for Worst Blog of All Time! This is an extreme honor for me, so go there and vote for photricity.com for worst blog of all time. (or other categories if you must)
Pie Chart
Thursday, December 6th, 2007
Flabbergasted
Tuesday, November 20th, 2007My wife felt like she would be cool and use the word flabbergasted. Then she asked me what the definition was. “It sounds like someone’s personal problem,” she said. And it does. Just imagine someone saying, “He he, ’scuse me, I flabbergasted.” Or, “I can’t eat that. It gives me flabbergastion.” I can see someone calling in to work: “I have a flabbergasture of 73.9 and I think it’s contagious because my wife is looking awful flabberghastly.”
Posted by Josh Meyer | 10:24 pm | Comments (1)Compulsive behavior
Tuesday, November 13th, 2007Most addictions are at least somewhat understandable. You always hear about drug and alcohol addictions, and there’s always activists and help groups for each. Stuff messes with your brain, I can understand that.
There are, however, some addictions that I don’t understand. In my mind, coffee is one of the worst addictions of all. Pretty much everyone is addicted to the stuff, and no one even cares. There are no activists and no help groups, because it’s just normal to be addicted to coffee. It’s so bad that if the supply of coffee was suddenly cut off, like three quarters of the population would experience massive headaches and nausea from withdrawal. People might even become murderers and criminals. Who knows what people will resort to when they don’t have coffee to control them.
Another addict I don’t understand is my wife Donita. She’s been struggling with an addiction her whole life. I’ve tried to get her some help, but of course there are no helplines for this. My wife is addicted to eye boogers. Whenever she sees a gooey ball of matter in someone’s eye, she’s compelled to react with an “Oh! Oh! Can I get it??” And while she probably wouldn’t go through withdrawal, I’m just a little tired of having someone’s finger in my eye all the time.
Posted by Josh Meyer | 9:54 pm | Comments (0)Mass destruction
Sunday, November 11th, 2007There’s this fly buzzing around our apartment that just won’t die. He always narrowly escapes. He’s like the Jackie Chan of insects. I thought about bringing out the heavy artillery and obliterating the pest, but then that might look funny to declare war against an enemy the size of a booger. So we felt a little sorry for the little guy, and we considered adopting him as a pet. That only lasted until we remembered that we’re not allowed to have pets in our apartment. But that opens a whole nother can of larvae. We’ve gotta get that thing out of here before somebody finds out. War it is.
Posted by Josh Meyer | 8:14 pm | Comments (0)You are Pre-Approved
Thursday, November 8th, 2007If I were a genius, I would design a credit card with no rewards, an account set up fee of $29, a program fee of $95, an annual fee of $48, and a monthly servicing fee of $84. Then I would booger glue a fake credit card onto the paper, call it “WaMu” for whatever reason, and send it to a geek named Josh. That way he would write about it on his blog and my card would be famous.
Posted by Josh Meyer | 9:01 pm | Comments (1)Sleeping awake
Tuesday, November 6th, 2007I’m trying to figure out the difference between when my wife is awake or sleeping. You would think I’d be able to tell her status by having a conversation with her. Not so much the case.
Awake:
Donita: “The ladies are outside playing Yahtzee.”
Me: “Who’s outside?”
Donita: “The ladies”
Me: “Why are they outside?”
Donita: “They’re playing Yahtzee.”
Sleeping:
Donita: “I put the leftover chicken in the fridge.”
Donita: “Then I opened it up to eat some.”
Donita: “But it was cold.”
Me: “Sadness”
Thinking Positive - Episode II
Monday, November 5th, 2007The cool part about my job is that pretty much everyone thinks they can do my job better than I can. That makes my job a boat load easier because then all I have to do is move my mouse to wherever they touch my screen with their fingers. This frees up my mind to think about my happy place, or what I should have for lunch.
Posted by Josh Meyer | 9:41 pm | Comments (0)
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