May 2008

The Contract

I’m in the middle of a process that I call the most depressing thing in the world. I’m buying a house. I’d be happy to just pay for the house, but that’s not how a mortgage works. In the end I will have paid enough money for two and a half houses. (That’s more than 2 million Ramen Noodles!) The word “mortgage” begins with the first four letters of the word “mortuary” for a reason. You’ll be paying it off until you’re dead. I’ve signed a paper that says I’ll be dumping my income into a black hole for the next 30 years. Other fees include my firstborn son, my soul, a bucket of pretty pennies, two arms and a leg, and any other expression you can think of that means a lot of money.

05.25.2008 by Josh Meyer | 2:37 pm | Comments (2)

Extra Cheese

I catch myself sometimes using the words cheesy and corny with the same meaning, but I’ve started to wonder if they mean the same thing or not. I checked out the nutritional facts and found that cheesy is defined as “cheap or poor quality” while corny is synonymous with “old-fashioned and unoriginal.” While cheesy sounds more tasteful to me initially, I think corny might be more wholesome and satisfying.

05.02.2008 by Josh Meyer | 3:40 pm | Comments (0)