Disorderly Conduct

Odds & Endings:

I almost got ran over by a crazy driver in an oncoming car. It was a girl driver, obviously.

I spent the better part of my day trying to convince my boss that I did something right the first time.

Today’s Engrish lesson:

Did you know that “fill in” means the same thing as “fill out“?

Proof of Loserocity:

I have toothpaste stains on either my shirt or my face approximately 63.8% of the time.

I got kicked out of the front seat by my little sister’s dolly.

Stupid question of the week:

“Are you deceased?” (I was asked this when filling in/out my taxes)

Nice…giant robot

I came to work this morning, and I saw this…um…thing sitting in front of my office. I’m not sure what it is, but it looks something like a cross between a giant chainsaw, a man-eating scorpion, and a rather large Tonka truck. Hopefully it won’t track me down and dig out my pancreas while I sleep.

Little known phobias

[pointlessophobia]:
The fear of pocket lint getting stuck under your fingernails.

[circularpointlessophobia]:
The fear of catching pointlessophobia.

[oldpeopletechophobia]:
The fear of your computer transforming into a giant killer robot.

[overlyspecificphobia]:
The fear of 3:46pm.

[rubegoldbergphobia]:
The fear of lightning striking a tree, which falls on a colony of termites, who get mad and chew on a telephone pole, which falls on a car, which blows up and suffocates a pigeon, which crashes through a window, flinging shards of glass at a computer, causing it to upload a virus, which triggers a war with Japan, who fires a missile at the Bears football game, causing your neighbor to curse and swear, making his baby scream louder than a jet liner, thus damaging your eardrums.