Josh Meyer Blog

You Must Be Joking

How many times can you tell the same joke before it starts getting old to you? I suppose if it’s a really good joke you might be able to tell it two or three times before it gets moldy and you move on to a different joke. But what if the joke is already stale? Does that just make it more fun to tell? Every single time someone new walks into the office I hear, “Hey, did you hear about the three guys that went to the doctor?” I’ve probably heard it at least 10 times.

And now that I’ve told you about it, you just have to hear the joke don’t you? Well here it is. You tell me how many times you could manage hearing it.

So three guys go to the doctor. The doctor asks, “What’s 3×3?” The first guy answers 362. The second guy says, “Tuesday.” Then the doctor asks the third guy, “Okay your turn. What’s 3×3?” The guy says, “That’s easy, it’s 9.” Doctor says, “That’s right, how did you come up with that answer?” Guy says, “Simple, just subtract Tuesday from 362.”

[cue sympathetic laughing]

Out of the Picture

My wife and I decided we’d like to get some new pictures of the two of us. Of course, me being a photographer, I grabbed my tripod and remote control and did it myself. We had fun and I felt like we got some good pictures. But when I loaded them onto my computer and started flipping through them, I puked a little. One side of all the pictures was beautiful and radiant, while the other side resembled a retarded rat that was hit by a truck and knocked into a barrel of toxic waste.

But towards the end I reached a photo that looked surprisingly good. It’s hard to understand why. Everything about the shot was wrong. It was an accidental exposure and it was very out of focus. I think the thing that makes the picture work so well is the visibility of certain elements of the subject. Have a look for yourself.

Now if you’re thinking that I’m just being modest and the rest of the pictures actually looked good, bear in mind that you didn’t see the other pictures. Pray you never will.

Miracles

Cole (3 years old): Do you know what Jesus doos when you have a cough?
Me: What does Jesus do?
Cole: He makes the cough go away.
Me: Oh. What does Jesus do when you cut your finger?
Cole: He tells you to go to the doctor.